Thursday, February 19, 2004
Yet Another Commercial Critique

There is a new Burger King commercial where there are kids on a bus and one kid has a fairy god brother. When the kid tells someone about him, the fairy god brother says 'fairy god bro.' From that moment on, I knew I would hate this commercial. Then the kids wish for Burger King and he says 'done and donner.' What? Is that supposed to be a ripoff of dumb and dumber? Do the producers of these commercial think that a stupid thing like that will make us laugh or make thier nasty burgers sound more appealing. Burger King in general is just really cheesy. What older kid is going to buy a big kids meal? The commercial goes on with more stupid lines and quotes. These stupid, cheesy commercials only make me like McDonalds and other bad fast-food burger places more.

Sunday, February 15, 2004
Old Starwars>New Starwars

Everyone has seen the new Starwars movies. But has anyone noticed that the new movies are no where near as good as the Old ones. In the old ones they were like 'ATTACK THE ENEMY SHIP!!' And then Han Solo would come in and say something like 'YEE-HAW!!' Then he would blow everything up. But in the new ones they say stuff like 'attack the enemy ship, but first, an hour of boring strategizing with wierd Starwars talk like 'we must cause a chain reaction by detenating the Gita fuser, which will send a charge to the Yexaderman and... BLAGH! Just get to the gung ho heroes and the blasting. But instead of a cool hero, they give me Jar-Jar Binx. Me'sa no the michli inka shookla...SHUTUP. Man that guy annoys me. Anyway, the older movies are better in every single way except special effects.

Friday, February 13, 2004
What's Up With Shaggy?

Does anyone know what is the matter with Shaggy? The guy must be stoned or something. I mean, have you heard the way he talks. 'Blaughf... hhheeey Scoob.' And this is the character we have on one of our most cherished kids show. I bet he had a love problem and he is trying to drink it away. Or maybe eat it away. That may be why he always eats. Man! You could lose any girl when Freddy is your friend.
Poor Shaggy. All alone in the world with that stupid dog. Oh well, maybe he'll find someone (if he hasn't already died from driving the Mystery Machine while drunk).

Thursday, February 12, 2004
The Simpsons Rock

The Simpsons ROCK! Is there anything else to say?

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Yu-Gi-Oh is to confusing. There are like, 50 billion different kinds of cards. Trap cards, magic cards, fighting cards... All these stupid cards. And the kids who collect them spend all their time memorizing these crazy cards, instead of wasting their time doing other better stuff. Also, the cards have the dumbest names. Bite shoes? That card is a shoe with teeth. Really stupid. These cards are too confusing and stupid. Besides, Pokemon RULE! Well, at least they're better. How do I know all this stuff about Yu-Gi-Oh you might ask. I have some friends that got into the craze a little bit to deep and can't stop with it. It's like crack, only in card form.

Sunday, February 08, 2004
Why Must You Mock Me, Ronald McDonald

Has anyone seen the McDonalds commercial where there is a little girl spending a long hours of persistance and patience making a nearly perfect, snowman replica of Ronald McDonald. As she puts on the finishing touch, Ronald comes, picks up a handful of snow, and creates a perfect snowman replica of the girl. Then the girl hugs him. Now wait, why would she hug him he he just made a mockery of all her hard work? I would get really mad at him for not just helping me in the first place, instead of coming at the very end some stupid comment that will supposingly make everything better. Isn't Ronald supposed to help and make kids happy instead of mocking their work?

Old People Commercials ll

For anyone who's seen the Rascal Scooters commercial, you have probably shared the pain that I have felt. I feel the way about this commercial that I feel about all other old people commercials, except I feel ten times more nausiated than usual after watching it. If I said anything else about what I thought about this commercial, I might get sued.

Friday, February 06, 2004
Joan of Arcadia

I'm sure you've all heard about the new T.V. show, Joan of Arcadia. Well apperently she talks to god. Now wait a minute. Don't people go to services several times a week to talk to god? We talk to god all the time! Dear god, help me god, let me make the play god. And yet they make a show about someone who talks to god. WHO CARES?!? If everyone talks to god, then why do we want to hear about this person who just does what billions of others are doing. And it looks really cheesy too. 'This week god wants her to join the debate club.' I think it's a really stupid show with something that is interesting the first time you see it, but it's basically the same episode again and again. Wow! Just like a Backstreet Boys song.

I hate Duke

Carolina could have won that game last night, and that upsets me. But what really gets to me is how Duke fans are like 'hey! I won the game.' And I'm thinking 'no you didn't. You watched the game for a minute and then went to bed. Then you saw me this morning and remembered that Duke had a game last night.' Practically all of my friends that are Duke fans don't know Dukes starting line-up. So what I have to Duke fans is 'go away. You don't even care what happened.'

Thursday, February 05, 2004
Old People Commercials

Have you noticed that there are alot of Life Alert commercials around lately? And have you noticed that the senior citizens are not just old and wrinkly, but incredibly ugly too. I mean, they have a million liver spots and have foot long nose hair. I'll be sitting there watching the commercial and they'll show these guys and I'll be trying not to vomit. MAN!! Those guys are hideous! The people who make the commercials must know that these people are ugly. Right? Apperently they don't.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004
My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee... Ugh

My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee is reality show where a girl has to convince her rich, fancy family to come to her wedding as she pretends to marry a fat ugly guy for a million bucks. The family is so disgusted and cries and freaks out that their duaghter, sister, etc. is going to marry this guy. And what disgusts me is that people watch this poor family from their T.V. at home and laugh their heads off. Man! People such leeches. Also, the girl is a moron. She already is in a multi-millionare family and she accepts to do this and see her family suffer. Over all, the show, the girl, the guy, and the people who sit at home watching all of them being tortured disgust me.

Catch that Kid is a Ripoff

Do you think that the makers of the movie Catch that Kid is a complete ripoff of the movie Spy Kids. Let's see...
A bunch of kids, parent gets into trouble, kids band together, get cool gear, infiltrate a top secret building, and make smooth escape. Yeah, its a ripoff.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Always Looking on the Grim Side

Have you noticed that it seems like people always look at the bad parts of life. People always seem so upset because their plane got delayed or something. But why can't they seem happy when their planes not delayed. You always hear storys of how a car crashed and two were killed and everyone breaks up about it and they should. But they can't seem to appreciate the billion cars that didn't crash and the millions and billions of people who didn't die today. If we took the time realize the good things that happened instead of just the bad, I think we'd all be much happier.

American Idol Setups

I can't say that I like American Idol, but I can't criticize people for watching it, because I watch my own crazy huge show. But what I hate is when people say 'can you believe how bad that person was?' I think people know when they're bad at singing and aren't just going to go make a fool of themselves on live T.V. I think they're paid to be bad so Simon can hammer them and people will love it. Also, my sister once said to me 'someone threw water on Simon!' I think that was rehearsed and I think they do that just to give the show new twists. Big hit shows like that will do anything for more money and popularity.

Monday, February 02, 2004
Superbowl After Math

Last night, when I saw the end of the game, I thought oh no! The Patriots won. But as the night went on, the general mood started to get to me. On the way home from a friends, I saw several people leaving parties with their heads down and houses looked gloomy as lights went out and it seemed like their was a sigh from everyone in the city. And now I find myself realizing that I'm not upset that the Patriots won, but upset that the Panthers lost.

Sunday, February 01, 2004
The Amazing Sprial Hover Disc, well not that Amazing

There is a new product out in stores called the Amazing Spiral Hover Disc. It's an alien saucer shaped balloon thing that you throw and it spins and it hovers. It says so and shows you in the commercial. It makes it look so cool. Oh, and another thing, on the commercial it's filled with helium. Now, isn't helium six times lighter than air. That may affect the outcome of how it flys.
Also, when the kid throw this giant, oddly-shaped balloon inside, and breaks a pot, the parent's gonna make the kid go outside, right. 'Throw, oh no! Watch out for that tree! POP!'
This is how I feel. Buy a balloon for 25 cents instead of spending 20 bucks for this piece of junk.

Superbowl XXXVIII

As almost all of the world knows, tonight is the night of Superbowl XXXVIII. Almost all of my state is rooting for the Carolina Panthers. Everyone was happy when they crushed the Cowboys, excited when they beat the Rams, and they were ecstatac when they won against the Eagles and made it to the Superbowl. It's not that I don't like them, but no matter how hard I try, i just can't seem to completely go for them and throw away my old team, as some of my family has done.
No matter how bad they let me down this year, I still find myself a hardcore Raiders fan. And as a Raiders fan, I despise the Patriots for winning in Foxboro in the snow a few years ago(that was so a fumble). So i have decided to root against the Patriots this year, and for one game, I will be a Carolina Panthers fan!

Chef Boyardee Shoplift

I'm sure some of you people out there have seen the Chef Boyardee commercial where a little girl asks her mom at the supermarket if she could have Chef Boyardee. The mom says no and the girl gives one last forlorn look at the can of noodles and goes away. Later, she discovers that the can has magically come to her house. Well, this is what the girl may think, but what happens when the mom comes in and discovers that she has the can? She's gonna think the kid shoplifted it! At the end of the commercial this voice says that the product is really good. This commericial is saying 'Hey! We have a really good product, so come and steal me from the shelf.' I think that accidently putting indirect insparation to shoplift your product in a commercial is pretty funny.

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